So you want to start getting into chatting on random video chat platforms so that you can interact with others, gain friends, or maybe even find a love interest, whatever the reason, you are sure within yourself that you want to start chatting. After getting into the website and registering, you are finally at the starting menu, you hit the “find a match” button and you are matched with a stranger, good. But now you have a problem, how will you start chatting with them?
As the title of this blog suggests, we are here to help you with these awkward “starting a conversation” situations which last for only a few minutes or seconds, but decide whether the conversation continues or stops before it even starts. We’ve published a similar blog (Common Icebreakers When Meeting New People & How To Meet New People on Emerald) which also contains interesting tips that you can apply to your conversations. However, this blog will focus especially on the start of your conversations so that you can focus more on gaining a friend or finding your one true love.
Tip #1: Start with a Friendly Greeting
While first impressions may not last, they are very important if you want your conversations to start and continue to be pleasant. This is why whenever you meet someone online, starting with a friendly greeting will help you create a friendly space whenever you are chatting with someone. Below are a few examples of friendly greetings you can use as a conversation starter.
- Nice to meet you
- Pleased to meet you
- Hello! How are you?
- Sup
You can come up with your own greeting, as it just depends on how you want to greet someone you’ve never met before. However, be mindful to not create intrusive greetings, or greetings that might make someone want to say that you’re a creep.
Tip #2: Keep Your Introduction Brief and Interesting
We all love to share something about ourselves, whether it be things that we like, things that we do, or even simply just ourselves, introductions are key to creating a good conversation as parts of it can be used as references for topics that both of you might think of later on. However, introductions must be kept short, because if an introduction takes too long it becomes tiring to listen to and it might give the impression that you are arrogant and too self-impressed.
When introducing yourself you can start with a friendly greeting and then tell the person your name, you can branch off to telling them your age or your gender, and you can also ask them their name, if they are reserved when it comes to telling their name, you can utilize the power of small talk (as we’ve highlighted in the previous blog post we mentioned earlier) to get them to loosen up and talk with you, but do not insist on them telling you their name, allow them to do it on their own.
Tip #3: Show Genuine Interest in the Other Person
Imagine you are talking with someone, but as you eagerly talk to them they seem to not notice you and constantly let their eyes drift from place to place, and when it is finally their time to talk, they talk about things that are far from what your topic was. Experiencing this is never pleasant, offensive even. This is the very reason why when you are trying to start a conversation with someone online, you have to remind yourself that you must pay respect to the person and lend them your eyes as you chat.
We understand that this is not easy to pull off, because some topics may quickly turn uninteresting and eventually boring. Whenever this occurs, you must remind yourself to do the following:
- Do not ignore anything that they say.
- Keep track of the points that may become pivotal topics in your conversation (this also allows you to branch off the topic into one that is interesting for the both of you easily)
- Try to limit, or close, unnecessary websites that may distract you.
Tip #4: Use Open-Ended Questions
This next tip is beneficial to your conversation as a whole, not just with starting it. Using open-ended questions allows both of you to think beyond one-liner answers like names, numbers, or the typical “yes” and “no” answer. It also adds more possible topics you can talk about with the person you are chatting with.
Creating an open-ended question is quite tricky, as some close-ended ones tend to look like they are open-ended. But a general rule of thumb is that open-ended questions do not require short answers, they require long answers that may even involve self-reflection. Here are some examples:
- How do you usually spend your weekends or leisure time?
- If you were to pass on one piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be?
- If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
Tip #5: Be Respectful and Mindful of Boundaries
In any given conversation, being mindful of respect and boundaries is a crucial determinant of whether or not the conversation continues or stops. We would not want to talk to someone who is being rude or judgemental of the things we’ve said. This is why we need to understand that behind every screen is a person who has their reasons for going into the random chat platform.
One way for you to remain respectful and mindful of the boundaries is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Think of how you would feel if someone said what you wanted to say to the other person. If you are looking for a romantic partner, it is generally good to still do the same, but you must keep in mind that you do not have to rush it, it’s okay if you start as friends and it’s also okay if you remain that way.
Tip #6: Use Emojis and GIFs to Express Emotions
We all know that it is difficult to convey emotions through text. This is the reason why emojis exist. Used the right way, emojis can drastically improve how the conversation is going since people will have a frame of reference as to how you feel towards a particular thing they’ve said.
However, when you are going to use emojis, you must be mindful of how often and how much you are using them. If you use them too often, you might come across as someone who’s faking it, and if you use them too sparingly, then you will not get their full benefit. You must assess whether it is appropriate to use emojis or not, and as you use them, you must be mindful of how many you put in, because if you put in too many, the chat you sent will be a mess of colors and shapes which will force someone to skip certain parts of it or they may decide to not read it at all.
Conclusion
Starting conversations is sort of an art of its own, as so many possibilities can be made from principles and tips that you garner over the years. But do not let its complexity force you to fear starting conversations, learn how to paint your start of a conversation. In light of this, we’ve highlighted that it is good to keep in mind that during the start of a conversation, one should be friendly, attentive, mindful, respectful, creative, and expressive (through the use of emojis 😉). Of course, these tips will change depending on who you’ve been matched with, but that’s the beauty of it, it is an endless string of possibilities all asking you, “How will you paint this conversation today?”
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