In the vast digital landscape of the 21st century, dating sites have emerged as a popular platform for people seeking companionship, love, and everything in between. These platforms offer a convenient way to connect with others from the comfort of your own home. However, as with any online interaction, including random chat sites.
It’s essential to approach these platforms with a discerning eye and an awareness of potential pitfalls. This blog post aims to equip you with the knowledge you need to navigate dating sites safely and effectively. We will delve into the 15 red flags on dating sites that you should be aware of. These red flags are warning signs that something may not be quite right, and recognizing them can save you from potential heartache or even danger.
So whether you’re someone who’s used to online dating or if you are new to the virtual dating scene, we hope that this blog will provide valuable insights to help ensure your online dating experience is as enjoyable and safe as possible.
Red Flag #1: Profile Picture Issues Use of celebrity or stock photos
On most dating websites, your first ever interaction with someone is with their profile picture. From these profile pictures, you form your first impressions which will help you decide whether or not to engage in a conversation with them. Keeping this in mind, many harassers, scammers, and everyone in between have gone into dating websites and used attractive photos in the hopes of roping an unsuspecting victim, that is why the next time you are on dating websites you have to make sure to double check if someone’s profile picture is a stock photo, matches with someone else that is not them, if it is unclear, heavily edited, or filtered. In this way, you can swipe left on a potential harm before it even starts.
Red Flag #2: Vague or Incomplete Profiles
Okay, the profile picture seems legitimate, what next? Should you jump into the conversation now that you’ve validated the photo? No, the next thing you need to do is to check their personal details, if it is lacking a few details or if you find that they are too generic (like they are just placed there simply to fill in gaps) move on to the next person immediately, because while there may be many factors affecting the lack of or generic information, a major aspect of dating is trust and someone who does not want to place even the basic information about them may be a sign that they are secretive and may do things behind your back when the both of you are dating. Trust is important, look for it in all things.
Red Flag #3: Rushing to Move Off the Dating Site
The next one is opposite to the second one, but it still pertains to trust, this time the person pushes for personal contact information and insists that you use other communication platforms. Again, the person may have varied reasons for doing this, but trust hasn’t been fortified yet, and insisting you click on a shady link or insisting that you provide personal contact information such as your phone number may be a sign that the person is a scammer and will want to use the information you gave them for personal gain. Immediately move to the next person when this happens.
Red Flag #4: Overly Romantic or Flattering Language Early On
Every one, though not a written requirement, expects and will receive romantic or flattering language from their partners, these small interactions help keep the relationship dynamic and fun. But when someone does it too early this might be a sign that they are manipulative, this is because the person is trying to exploit the fact that flattery and romantic language sound good to the ears (or is nice to read) and we all know that dating manipulators tend to be very messy very quickly.
Red Flag #5: Avoidance of Personal Questions or Topics
This does not mean that you are going to be asking for personal contact information, we already warned you about that in the third red flag, these are questions like “What do you do in your spare time?”, “what food do you like?” etc., and of course, it might just be that certain topics are very sensitive to them. But we’ve written a blog about how to start a conversation with someone and in the blog we highlighted the power of small talk when trying to jumpstart a conversation (it also has tips on how you can structure questions to avoid the possibility of touching a sensitive topic), And If the person you encounter continuously answers evasively or constantly changes the subject, this might be because they want to keep a part of their life hidden to you or are hiding something from you. Even though personal privacy is still essential in a relationship, would you fully trust someone to be your partner if they evade even simple questions like “What do you do in your spare time?”
Red Flag #6: Asking for Money or Financial Information
This is a no-brainer. Why would you ask for money or financial information on a dating website? When you encounter people like this, skip them immediately, it doesn’t matter if they have a grand story before making a financial request, dating sites are for dating and building relationships, not a place to ask for money, much less a place for exchanging personal financial details.
Red Flag #7: Inconsistent Information and Stories
Here is another sign of a manipulative person. If someone has truthfully experienced an event or something very significant that they just feel the need to share, the details of that event will stay the same, or at least be consistent with the previous details they have said, it will also be difficult (not impossible, people may still forget) for them to forget the previous conversations you’ve had about that certain event. If someone brags about something yet gives contradictory details or easily forgets about the previous claims they’ve made, it is most likely that they are manipulative and will not think twice about lying to you during your relationship.
Red Flag #8: Unwillingness to Meet in Person or via Video Call
If you’ve ever known or heard about the term ‘catfish’ or ‘catfishing’, if you’ve met someone unwilling to meet in person or even on a video call, you might just be chatting with someone who is catfishing. If you’ve built trust with someone at least video calling is permissible, you can’t trust someone you haven’t seen (and no, the profile picture does not count, for the reasons explained in the first red flag), and in a relationship, you must have interaction outside of the dating site or app. Again, this is after you’ve built trust.
Red Flag #9: Too Good to Be True Profiles
A deal that is too good to be true is most likely not true. Profiles containing information that seem to feature a perfect life, an unrealistic career, or unrealistic lifestyle claims, most likely are not true and are just inputted to manipulate people into swiping right.
Red Flag #10: Poor Grammar and Spelling
This is not to judge others because not everyone is good with English, but understanding that you are in an ONLINE platform that will be seen by FOREIGNERS or individuals that will be using English as the means for communication, poor grammar, and spelling turns off a lot of people for reasons such as you might be a minor; you might be manipulative, or; you might be incapable of providing for someone else. These may be stereotypical and will most likely not be the case for everyone, but these are possibilities that are better to avoid than to experience and deal with.
Red Flag #11: High-Pressure Tactics
It is important to keep in mind that even though you are engaging in a dating website where you are expected to listen and understand others, you must still maintain a level of objectivity. This is because you will encounter individuals who are pushy and will want to insist on what they want out of you. Being pushy or using high-pressure tactics to invoke you to make an urgent decision that you do not want to make just yet indicates that the person has difficulty with managing their emotions and will most likely assert dominance over you instead of listening to you.
Red Flag #12: Disrespectful or Aggressive Behavior
Nobody likes to be disrespected, this is especially true when you are trying to find a partner. Much like trust, “respect” and “honor” are pivotal when it comes to being in a relationship, and if someone cannot give it to you during your first interaction, they will most likely not give it to you ever.
Red Flag #13: Overly Interested in Your Personal Life
As much as we’ve promoted personal questions to start up your conversation with someone, it is also important to remember that too much interest is not the way to go. The moment someone starts to ask intrusive questions about you or if someone has an unhealthy interest in your details (we’re talking about a “creepy” level of unhealthiness), it is high time for you to consider clicking on the next button, doing so may just save you from potential physical harm.
Red Flag #14: Lack of Friends or Social Connections
Along with our profile, social connections either affirm or deny the person that we are, this allows others to know how authentic we are as a person and may either help them build a good opinion about us or develop an opinion that does not necessarily favor us, either way, it helps others see us for who we are according to how we present ourselves to our social connections. Having a lack of social connection, like no mention of friends or family, or even a lack of social media presence, forces us to know someone entirely by who they say they are, and we’d have no means of validating what they said except through their own words. This is very dangerous as many harmful individuals can use their anonymity to fool and exploit someone for their gain. This is why when you meet someone online who is like this, immediately avoid them and look for someone else.
Red Flag #15: Victim Mentality
The last red flag may be hard to spot at times, but when symptoms show, the redness of this flag becomes crystal clear. A person with a “victim mentality” may start as someone who is just very humble and self-reflective, but as you spend more time with them you will begin to notice that their humbleness is just an excuse for them to either make others feel bad or blame others for their problems. This is a very big problem because it indicates that someone has a hard time dealing with their problems and will just want to blame someone else instead of facing them and learning from them, creating a very negative environment for you as a person. So if you notice this behavior with someone online, it is best to stay away from them.
Conclusion
Everyone who wants to find a relationship with someone will want that relationship to be happy, but we can never always be assured that the people we meet want the same, which is especially true when you go into dating websites. Sadly, there will always be people on the hunt for victims that just want to love someone, so that they can exploit them. This is why we need to know how to spot them and make sure that “the one” we find is authentic and not a wolf within a sheep’s clothing.
Leave a Reply